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Volume 8

Jason Weiss

Jan 1, 2024

The Great New Year's Resolution Hoax: Why your New Year's Resolution Is Propbably Hung Over

Ah, New Year's Resolutions – those ambitious declarations we make as the clock strikes midnight, filled with hope and a side of bubbly. It's the annual tradition of setting ourselves up for a spectacular series of procrastinations. Let's face it, if New Year's resolutions were a product, they'd be recalled for false advertising.


Consider the classic "I will join a gym and transform into a Greek deity" resolution. Gyms love January. It's like Christmas in... well, January. Thousands flock to sign up, enticed by the vision of their future, fit selves. By January 21st, however, these temples of transformation become ghost towns with a soundtrack of echoing treadmills. The reality is, most of us are just making a generous, involuntary donation to the fitness industry. It's philanthropy with a side of sweat.


Why do we do this to ourselves? Well, it's quite amusing when you think about it. We're essentially scheduling our failures in advance. "New Year, New Me" is often just a fancy way of saying, "New Year, New List of Things I'll Forget About by February." The issue is, resolutions are often made in a moment of holiday-induced euphoria, not realistic planning. It's like deciding to climb Everest because you managed to walk up a hill without wheezing.


Here's a funny truth: January 1st is just a day, not a fairy godmother. There's nothing in the air (apart from the leftover fireworks smoke) that will magically transform your determination. Believing that change can only start with a new calendar is like waiting for a sign from the universe – only the universe is too busy binge-watching Netflix to send one.


If you're waiting for the New Year to make a change, ask yourself: "Is my willpower sitting on a delayed flight?" The fact is, if something is truly important, why wait? The "I'll start tomorrow" mantra is the procrastinator's anthem. It's sung by a choir of well-meaning but ultimately inactive dreamers. Real change doesn't need a specific date; it just needs you to start, even if it's a Tuesday in April or a Thursday in September.


In the end, the most effective way to bring about change is to make it a part of your daily life, not a yearly pledge. Instead of lofty resolutions, focus on small, sustainable changes. Swap the "run a marathon" goal with "wear my running shoes and move a bit more." Replace "become a master chef" with "learn how to cook one new dish a week."


Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day, but they were laying bricks every hour. So, if you're serious about change, start laying your bricks today. If it can wait until tomorrow, then perhaps it's not a priority, just a whimsical thought for a future you to ponder.


So, as you toast to the New Year, chuckle at the resolutions being made around you. Know that change isn't tied to a date but to your daily actions. Let's make every day a potential January 1st, minus the pressure and the expensive gym membership. Happy New (Same) You!


"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."

- Henry David Thoreau


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